


'Cause You Haunt Me

by lovelywaterbuffaloes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cliche, Fluff, I tried I promise, M/M, Sexuality Crisis, bi tanaka is the best tanaka, ennoshita is a good bro, ennotana - Freeform, hand holding is pure and needed, sorry this is late as heck and kinda sucks, tanaenno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 07:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10080272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelywaterbuffaloes/pseuds/lovelywaterbuffaloes
Summary: Tanaka doesn't like being called straight, and Ennoshita wants to know why.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CarissaThePanda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarissaThePanda/gifts).



> Hello! So—wow. This took forever. I've actually had this written for a week or two, beta read and everything, but I only just now found the energy to do finishing edits and post it. Anyways, but I wrote this for the train wreck of a HQ!! Christmas Exchange I hosted ages ago. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> P.S. I don't care if there're isn't a real contraction I'm using it anyway

Ennoshita typed faster than him.

This was given, of course, but Tanaka found it interesting to sit there and actually listen to the _click clack_ of the keyboard as Ennoshita’s fingers worked. It was relaxing, somehow, even when the typing ceased and he let out a huff of frustration. Tanaka wasn’t sure why he was getting so worked up about it. It was only a literature essay, after all. No big deal.

But apparently it _was_ a big deal, because after an hour of lying on the floor doing nothing, Ennoshita decided Tanaka needed to actually be productive.

“You really should be working on the essay, you know,” he said, spinning around in his desk chair. Tanaka was focused on catching the volleyball he kept throwing into the air, barely even paying attention to what Ennoshita was saying.

“Nah,” he said, catching the volleyball again. He didn’t toss it back up this time, instead holding it against his chest and craning his neck to face Ennoshita. He looked a lot more menacing from the ground, for some reason, and Tanaka decided it would probably be smart to sit up. “It’s not like it’s due tomorrow, right?”

Surprisingly, Ennoshita laughed at that, crossing his arms. “That kind of mind set is what keeps you failing all your classes,” he said, raising his eyebrows as if to say, _don’t try and deny it_.

Tanaka scoffed. “Hey! I’m not failing _all_ of them. Just, y’know, most of them.”

Ennoshita rolled his eyes, spinning back around to face his computer. Tanaka would call that a win. He stood up and plopped himself on Ennoshita’s bed, folding his hands behind his head and smirking. “Besides, girls would rather date a cool guy than a smart one.”

Ennoshita gasped, facing him again. “ _Ohhh_! So _that’s_ why you never get any dates.”

If looks could kill, Ennoshita Chikara would be six feet under.

“Oi! Are you calling me lame?”

Ennoshita shrugged innocently, which contradicted the obvious smirk he was wearing. “Well considering you’d sacrifice your education for some temporary fling? Yeah, a little. You’re like one of those airheaded jocks in the movies who are so straight it hurts,” he said, chuckling.

Tanaka didn’t say anything, and eventually Ennoshita returned to his essay. The _click clack_ came back, but Tanaka wasn’t so relaxed anymore.

He’d felt it before, this weight that planted itself in his stomach. He wanted to will it away, to just forget it even existed. But no matter how much he hoped, it wouldn’t leave him alone. If he were a bit more naïve, Tanaka would’ve had no idea why it appeared. But unfortunately, he was more perceptive than people believed.

“I don’t think I like being called that,” he said, eyes glued to the comforter.

 _Why_.

He should’ve just dropped it. That’s what he usually did, anyway. Sure, maybe it wasn’t the most effective method, or the healthiest, but it was easier to push it to the back of his mind than face the consequences of confronting it head on.

Ennoshita stilled, though that might’ve been Tanaka’s hyperactive imagination. This wasn’t how he wanted to do this. This wasn’t the right time or the right place or the right _person_. And yeah, maybe that wasn’t a fair thing to say. He trusted Ennoshita. Ennoshita was one of his best friends, after all. A teammate. But the thought of discussing something like this with him made his hands clammy and his chest tight with something he refused to explain.

Ennoshita turned around once again. His face was mostly blank, except for the lingering air of confusion that made Tanaka swallow nervously. This was a bad idea, a _very_ bad idea—

“Being called what?”

Tanaka froze in disbelief. Was this a blessing? Ennoshita didn’t even know what he was talking about. Tanaka could cover right now and escape this entire situation. He could save himself from whatever was about to go down.

And yet.

Now that it was happening, Tanaka couldn’t find it in himself to make it stop. Part of him wanted to lay everything out on the table, to confess to all the secrets he’d been holding close to his chest for so long.

 _Just say it_.

“Straight.”

And there it was.

“Why?” Ennoshita asked, clearly confused.

Tanaka debated this. It was a legitimate question, and he should’ve prepared an answer. Though to be fair, that was kind of hard to do when you didn’t _have_ one.

Ennoshita was looking at him expectantly, an underlying hesitance there that seemed out of place. Ennoshita was hardly ever hesitant. He just wasn’t that type of person. For as long as Tanaka had known him, Ennoshita had been all in or all out. This was… new. The kind of new that made him so nervous he could barely breathe.

Tanaka swallowed uncomfortably, playing with a loose string on the comforter. _Talk, dammit_.

“I don’t know,” he finally said, meeting Ennoshita’s eyes. They were staring straight through him. “I wish I did, believe me. But it just doesn’t… feel right. Y’know how there’re some titles that just, I dunno, click? Like _ace_! Ever since I saw one in action I knew it’s what I wanted to be. What I was meant to be. It’s the same as _captain_ for you. It’s something that you know deep down reflects exactly who you are,” Tanaka said, the ghost of a smile on his face.

Ennoshita flushed a deep red, looking away. “S-shut up. We don’t even know if I’m gonna be captain yet, there are three other eligible second years who are way more qualified for the—”

“Chikara.”

“What?”

Tanaka rolled his eyes, but there was an unmistakable fondness to it that was hard to ignore. “Everyone knows you’re the best choice. You’re the most responsible, the most mature, and you gather respect everywhere you go. You’re gonna be captain.”

Ennoshita huffed, crossing his arms, which did funny things to Tanaka’s stomach. “Whatever.”

Tanaka smiled, but it quickly faded away once he remembered what they were talking about.

“You represent leadership. But when people call me, y’know, _straight_ , it just feels… wrong? I don’t fucking know. I wish I were better at explaining this stuff,” he said. This was the first time he’d actually had this conversation with another living person, and it was trying on his temper more than he’d like to admit. He hated not being able to say what he felt, especially when it was this important to him.

Ennoshita reached up and scratched his neck, which was just as endearing as it was dorky.

“Well, maybe you’re not.”

Tanaka tilted his head to the side. “Straight?”

“Yeah.”

The thought made his eyes widen drastically, as if someone had just told him he should consider quitting volleyball. “Wha—That’s crazy! I mean, I’m not _gay_ ,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. The mere idea of it was so insane he could barely wrap his mind around it.

Ennoshita frowned, and it vaguely reminded Tanaka of Suga when he was disappointed in someone. “Why so defensive?” he asked, raising an eyebrow high enough to disappear behind his hair. It was then that Tanaka realized how Ennoshita might’ve taken his adamant refusal, and he mentally kicked himself.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” he said, stretching his hands out in defense. “I just, I don’t know anyone who likes guys. I mean, I’ve never even considered the possibility that I could, well, y’know…”

Tanaka’s skin felt hot under Ennoshita’s eyes. He had a look on his face that Tanaka couldn't quite decipher. It was almost annoying.

“Tanaka?”

“Yeah?”

Ennoshita sighed. “ _I_ like guys.”

Tanaka stared at him. Well that’s certainly not what he was expecting.

“Oh then,” Tanaka said, trying to keep a straight face. On second thought, maybe ‘straight’ wasn’t the best adjective to use.

“‘Oh then’?” Ennoshita asked. His cheekbones were dusted with pink, and Tanaka found himself wanting to brush his lips against them.

It was Tanaka’s turn to blush now, and he averted his eyes, laughing nervously. “Y-yep,” he said, crossing his arms over his arms.

Remind him later to jump off a cliff.

Ennoshita was still staring at him, and Tanaka was seriously considering fleeing, but then a warm laugh came from Ennoshita’s direction, and when did it get so hot in here?

“Hey now,” Ennoshita said, moving over to sit beside him on the bed, gripping Tanaka’s hands in his own. They were cooler than Tanaka expected, which was strangely soothing. “There’s no need to be awkward about it. This kinda stuff is natural, yeah? I went through the exact same thing you’re probably going through now, except in a smaller, less existential crisis sort of way,” Ennoshita said, smiling. “Liking boys doesn’t mean you’re gay, you know.”

Tanaka’s eyes widened incredulously. “Really?”

Ennoshita gave him a funny look. “Of course not. Didn’t you know that?”

“Uhh…”

Ennoshita sighed. “I guess that’s a no, then. Look, what I’m trying to say is that you are who you are. It’s okay if you don’t know quite who that is right now. You don’t have to. Just, go with whatever feels right, I guess,” he said, averting his eyes.

Their hands were still intertwined, and Tanaka felt an urge come over him. It had his head in an iron fist, and his heart on a pedestal, leaving him powerless to refuse. He felt himself inching closer, and shutting his eyes. _Here goes nothing_.

Ennoshita’s hands may have been cold, but his cheekbones were scalding.

It lasted only a second, maybe two. Tanaka wasn’t sure exactly what came in and convinced him to kiss his friend’s face, but apparently it hated him, because when he pulled away, Ennoshita was staring straight ahead, his face completely devoid of the pink blush that had initially enticed him.

“Sorry,” Tanaka said, tearing his hands away in shame. “You said to do what felt right, and well. I listened.”

Ennoshita still wouldn't look at him. Why wouldn't he look at him? Surely it wasn't _that_ bad. Maybe he felt violated? Oh god, he felt violated didn’t he? _Nice going, Ryuu. You've managed to thoroughly embarrass yourself_ and _physically assault your friend in less than fifteen minutes._

The whole thing felt a lot like a scene from one of those cheesy high school dramas. Any minute now, he expected Ennoshita to ask him to leave in a fit of disgust and betrayal. They’d ignore each other for weeks and eventually forget about the incident, leaving the friendship in irreversible shambles. It would be a scene straight from a shoujo manga, and Tanaka would look back on it bitterly for years to come.

At least, he thought that’s what was gonna happen. But apparently not, because there was suddenly a hand on his neck, pulling him in until their lips touched.

His mouth began to move on its own accord, which Tanaka was thankful for, considering his mind still had yet to catch up with what was going on. He’d only kissed a handful of people in his life, but based on how lightheaded Tanaka felt, Ennoshita was by far the best.

His eyes fell shut, and his hands found their way to Ennoshita’s face. His cheeks were soft, albeit a little bumpy from fading acne. For all Tanaka cared, he could’ve had the bumpiest face in the world. It didn’t matter. He was kissing Ennoshita Chikara. Ennoshita Chikara was kissing _him_.

When they broke apart, Tanaka was out of breath, not only from the kiss, but also from the complete shock he was still trying to overcome.

“That felt right, huh?” Ennoshita asked, his eyes dancing with mischief.

“I think so.” Tanaka grinned. “But maybe we should try it again, just to be sure.”

Ennoshita burst out laughing, pressing their foreheads together. Tanaka laughed along with him.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that wasn't too gross and cliche. If you enjoyed, kudos and a comment would be greatly appreciated!
> 
> (Title taken from Ease My Mind by Hayley Kiyoko)


End file.
